On Being a Chameleon — David Durham

Her name is Emily.

A very English name, although her father is Chinese. And in spite of dad's nationality, in spite of the fact that he was standing right there when she was born, Emily's birth certificate says she is white.

Emily's father, who says his name is Christopher (I wonder if that's really what's on his birth certificate) grew up in New York City, where as a little boy he followed both his grandmothers around the street markets of Chinatown, with the constant thrum of Mandarin Chinese as the soundtrack.

But when he was five years old and it was time to start school, Christopher was told by his parents that he could no longer speak Chinese -- that it was imperative that he learn to speak English in order to survive in an English-speaking America. (This in spite of Emily's grandmother's efforts.) It was a struggle, but little Christopher did as he was told and never spoke Chinese again.

So Christopher marries a Caucasian woman, and they have a daughter, Emily, who grows up speaking...you guessed it -- nothing but English.

It seems the desire to blend in like a chameleon -- to assimilate -- is so strong that basically dying to a big part of one's cultural identity is worth it.

Now, at 30 years old, Emily is wondering why her father never taught her his mother tongue and has decided it's not too late to learn some Chinese herself. No, it's not easy. But in the process, Emily feels she is uncovering a long-ignored part of herself. But she is also grappling with a sense of loss; in fact, that's what started her on this recent journey. Sociolinguists call it racial imposter syndrome -- feeling a disconnect between yourself and a part of your cultural identity.

I wish I could count the number of people I've met over the years whose parents' native language was non-English, yet only speak English today. This is not an argument for making schools and other public institutions English only so much as a quest to hold on to the cultural and ethnic diversity that defines us as a nation. And this goes beyond the United States. Every one of the five countries I have lived in have stories just like this one.

What about you? Are there parts of your cultural or ethnic identity that need to be reclaimed or rediscovered?