We had just moved into our seventh floor apartment in Amsterdam. Becky and I had been living in the Netherlands only a couple of months, but I had spent a few months there two years earlier so was somewhat conversant in Dutch.
One day a lady who we presumed was our next door neighbor was outside her door, and I decided this was a good time to introduce ourselves. I introduced myself (fortunately David is David in Dutch, just pronounced differently), and "this is my wife, Becky."
She looks at Becky, then back at me, and finally says:
"Becky. Geen mooie naam."
"Not a nice name."
I was thrown slightly off center for a split second by this frank comment, then remembered that the Dutch are known for their direct communication. I was able to follow up with, "Actually, that's short for Rebecca."
From then on, Becky most definitely went by Rebecca.
It turns out that "Becky" does sound funny to the Dutch ear, unless you're talking about birds -- "bekkie" can mean "little beak".
In her short but very informative book Foreign to Familiar, our friend and former colleague Sarah Lanier explains some of the many differences between hot climate cultures and cold climate cultures. If you're from the US, you are surely aware of some of the differences just between northern and southern culture; so you can imagine there are TONS of significant distinctions between, say, people from the Netherlands (a cold climate culture) and Brazilians (a hot climate culture).
Understanding these distinctives can be a huge help in navigating from one culture to another. I could fill these weekly missives for a year with examples -- some humorous, some not so much -- from my personal experience as well as others'.
Shortly after our little getting acquainted moment with our neighbor, I was performing in another city in the south of Holland. I saw a lady in the audience whom I recognized from a couple of years earlier when I had been there. I went up to her afterwards and said, "You were here last time I played -- do you remember?" To which she replied:
"Yes, but I think you've gained some weight."
She wasn't wrong. But that wasn't something this sensitive American was hoping to hear.
"Bekkie" and I both grew to love the Dutch people and culture and have taken pieces of it wherever we've been since. And so it should be.
What examples of hot and cold cultural differences have you encountered in your experiences? I'd love to hear your [brief] stories -- just reply to this email, or better yet, post them in the comments section on my blog.